I was inspired by the following excerpt from “Women who run with the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes about looking back at your life and consciously stand still at certain losses you have made in your life. Pieces of a dream that you have left behind or mistakes that you have made. It’s time to forgive and let go.
Women have died a thousand deaths before they are twenty years old. They’ve gone in this direction or that, and have been cut off. They have hopes and drreams that have been cut off also. While all these things deepen individuation, differentiaton, growing up and growing out, blossoming, becoming awake and aware and conscious, they are also profound tragedies and have to be grieved as such.
To make descansos means taking a look at your life and marking where the small deaths and the big deaths have taken place.
I encourage you to make descansos, to sit down with a time-line of your life and say ‘where are the crosses?’ where are the places that must be remembered, must be blessed?’. In all are meanings that you’ve brought forward into your life today. They must be remembered, but they must be forgotten at the same time. It takes time. And patience.
Descansos is a conscious practice that takes pity on and gives honor to the orphaned dead of your psyche, laying them to rest at last.
Be gentle with yourself and make the descansos, the resting places for the aspects of yourself that were on their way to somewhere, but never arrived. Descansos mark the death sites, the dark time, but they are also love notes to your suffering. They are transformative.